Linda from Linda's Bandwidth issued a challenge to us all regarding our perceived self image.
So here's her mission if you
choose to accept it – think of at least 5 things you like about
yourself. If you're up to it post it on your blog.
So here's mine.
1. I am compassionate.
2. I am adventurous/ I love to travel .
3. I am honest.
4. I like my eyes, they are green and at times they are a beautiful emerald green
5. I like my height. I am 5'6" not to short, not to tall.
Thanks Linda for doing this.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Friday, February 24, 2012
Why do I eat?
Why do I eat??
When the idea to blog about this subject came to mind, I had some pretty firm ideas why I eat.
There is the physical need to eat to replenish the energy we expend.
There are also the emotional reasons,lonely,tired bored,angry,sad ect....
There are medical conditions to consider.
When I started to consider this post I was surprised to find that it is MUCH more complicated than that.
I had been at a reasonable weight until about 8 years ago . Not skinny ,not overweight but a reasonably healthy weight.
An abusive relationship, the resulting trust issues,the traumatic end of that abusive relationship while living 3000 mile from my adult children ,moving cross county,quitting smoking /drinking , celiac disease, my father illness and death , all have impacted my eating habits . To be honest being single for the past 8 years has had a huge effect on my eating habits.
I love food. I love everything about food ( except the fact to much makes me fat,lol)
I love shopping for food. Cooking food. Baking food. I love the taste and texture of food.I get great enjoyment out of food.
I eat for the joy of it. I eat to stuff my feelings, I eat because I am lonely ,happy,sad,overwhelmed ,because it is there ,because it is not there,or because it is _____day.
I have used food . I have abused food. Food has been my friend . Food has been my enemy.
Understanding my relationship with food is key for me learning to view food in a healthy way .
To be healthy and maintain a healthy weight, I must/I need / I will , learn to view food for what is really is: Sustenance for the body.
Food is NOT meant to be my best friend, my lover, my therapist, my pastime when I am bored .
Food IS meant to sustain a healthy body.
The fact that I must learn to view food only as sustenance for the body scares the HELL out of me.
I feel like I am losing my only support system .
That prospect is almost enough for me to say the hell with losing weight and getting healthy.
Almost enough for me to continue my sick relationship with food.
ALMOST, almost but not quite enough to make me give up.
Some where inside there is the strength to do this, there has to be,I just have to dig deep enough to find it .
Changing my relationship with food is the only way I will be able to reach and maintain a healthy weight.
Today I am truly not feeling up to the task, Thankfully tomorrow will come and I WILL be a bit stronger , and the day after that stronger still.
When the idea to blog about this subject came to mind, I had some pretty firm ideas why I eat.
There is the physical need to eat to replenish the energy we expend.
There are also the emotional reasons,lonely,tired bored,angry,sad ect....
There are medical conditions to consider.
When I started to consider this post I was surprised to find that it is MUCH more complicated than that.
I had been at a reasonable weight until about 8 years ago . Not skinny ,not overweight but a reasonably healthy weight.
An abusive relationship, the resulting trust issues,the traumatic end of that abusive relationship while living 3000 mile from my adult children ,moving cross county,quitting smoking /drinking , celiac disease, my father illness and death , all have impacted my eating habits . To be honest being single for the past 8 years has had a huge effect on my eating habits.
I love food. I love everything about food ( except the fact to much makes me fat,lol)
I love shopping for food. Cooking food. Baking food. I love the taste and texture of food.I get great enjoyment out of food.
I eat for the joy of it. I eat to stuff my feelings, I eat because I am lonely ,happy,sad,overwhelmed ,because it is there ,because it is not there,or because it is _____day.
I have used food . I have abused food. Food has been my friend . Food has been my enemy.
Understanding my relationship with food is key for me learning to view food in a healthy way .
To be healthy and maintain a healthy weight, I must/I need / I will , learn to view food for what is really is: Sustenance for the body.
Food is NOT meant to be my best friend, my lover, my therapist, my pastime when I am bored .
Food IS meant to sustain a healthy body.
The fact that I must learn to view food only as sustenance for the body scares the HELL out of me.
I feel like I am losing my only support system .
That prospect is almost enough for me to say the hell with losing weight and getting healthy.
Almost enough for me to continue my sick relationship with food.
ALMOST, almost but not quite enough to make me give up.
Some where inside there is the strength to do this, there has to be,I just have to dig deep enough to find it .
Changing my relationship with food is the only way I will be able to reach and maintain a healthy weight.
Today I am truly not feeling up to the task, Thankfully tomorrow will come and I WILL be a bit stronger , and the day after that stronger still.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Working 3rd shift
I am currently working 3rd shift. Well for the next 2 weeks anyway. I got the official word today that I am going back to working days.WOOO HOOO I am soooooooooooo excited :)
Some people do well and enjoy working 3rd shift. I apparently am not one of them .
About a year ago I was offered a position on 3rd shift. It came with a raise and more responsibility . After considering it ,I decided to take the position. I figured ,I live alone, no one else's schedule to consider, I never slept any way,lol ,why not.
Boy was I wrong!! I had no idea what sleep derivation was until working 3rd shift.
At first it was fine, I would work at night , sleep during the day and I still had my evenings .
I did alright for about the first 9 or 10 months. Then for some unknown reason, I started having trouble sleeping during the day, no matter how tired I was.
I tried all the tricks, Darking shades, fan for white noise, everything I could think of, but I still could not sleep more than 3 or 4 hours during the day :( But I could sleep 7 or 8 hours on my nights off and feel great .
Then about a month ago, a position on days came open, same pay ,same responsibilitys as my current position on 3rd. So I put in for it. I did not get it .
That made me realize how much I WANT BACK ON DAYS!!!
So after some heavy consideration ,I put in for another day position , lower pay,less responsibility but I get to sleep at night :)
So the first full week in March I am back to the land of the living , DAYTIME :) I am a HAPPY girl,poorer but HAPPIER :)
** as an after thought**
I have read that working nights can effect weight loss/gains , so I am wondering when I go back to working days and sleeping nights, how/if it will effect my weight loss efforts
Some people do well and enjoy working 3rd shift. I apparently am not one of them .
About a year ago I was offered a position on 3rd shift. It came with a raise and more responsibility . After considering it ,I decided to take the position. I figured ,I live alone, no one else's schedule to consider, I never slept any way,lol ,why not.
Boy was I wrong!! I had no idea what sleep derivation was until working 3rd shift.
At first it was fine, I would work at night , sleep during the day and I still had my evenings .
I did alright for about the first 9 or 10 months. Then for some unknown reason, I started having trouble sleeping during the day, no matter how tired I was.
I tried all the tricks, Darking shades, fan for white noise, everything I could think of, but I still could not sleep more than 3 or 4 hours during the day :( But I could sleep 7 or 8 hours on my nights off and feel great .
Then about a month ago, a position on days came open, same pay ,same responsibilitys as my current position on 3rd. So I put in for it. I did not get it .
That made me realize how much I WANT BACK ON DAYS!!!
So after some heavy consideration ,I put in for another day position , lower pay,less responsibility but I get to sleep at night :)
So the first full week in March I am back to the land of the living , DAYTIME :) I am a HAPPY girl,poorer but HAPPIER :)
** as an after thought**
I have read that working nights can effect weight loss/gains , so I am wondering when I go back to working days and sleeping nights, how/if it will effect my weight loss efforts
Friday, February 17, 2012
Celiac disease and other autoimmune diseases
Celiac disease and other autoimmune diseases .
After a lot of years of misdiagnosed and non diagnosed in 2011 I was "officially'' diagnosed with :
Hashimoto's thyroid disease
Celiac Disease
The first "sign " that I had celiac appear when I was 17. I developed a rash that I now know was Dermatitis Herpetiformis (DH for short) . DH is commonly referred to as celiac rash. If you have DH you have celiac.
I have some anger, most has dissipated But I still have some ;) , that I went undiagnosed for so many years.
The first time that I had DH was when I was 17 and I was not diagnosed until I was 54, PLEASE!!!!! I am soooooooooooooo NOT impressed with the medical community. That medical community treated/mistreated and misdiagnosed me for AT LEAST 35 years.
With each passing year undiagnosed more and more damage occurred to my body. Most of the damage will heal as my gut heals but some of the damage will be permanent .I have reduced renal function and liver damage that will probably be permanent . Because I am now gluten free I should be able , with care, to avoid further damage.
It took a GI doc that was trained outside of the US to recognize and diagnose me.
As I have a lot of emotions about my diagnosed and celiac , this post will probably be an ongoing project .
If you have any questions please feel free to ask
After a lot of years of misdiagnosed and non diagnosed in 2011 I was "officially'' diagnosed with :
Hashimoto's thyroid disease
Celiac Disease
The first "sign " that I had celiac appear when I was 17. I developed a rash that I now know was Dermatitis Herpetiformis (DH for short) . DH is commonly referred to as celiac rash. If you have DH you have celiac.
I have some anger, most has dissipated But I still have some ;) , that I went undiagnosed for so many years.
The first time that I had DH was when I was 17 and I was not diagnosed until I was 54, PLEASE!!!!! I am soooooooooooooo NOT impressed with the medical community. That medical community treated/mistreated and misdiagnosed me for AT LEAST 35 years.
With each passing year undiagnosed more and more damage occurred to my body. Most of the damage will heal as my gut heals but some of the damage will be permanent .I have reduced renal function and liver damage that will probably be permanent . Because I am now gluten free I should be able , with care, to avoid further damage.
It took a GI doc that was trained outside of the US to recognize and diagnose me.
As I have a lot of emotions about my diagnosed and celiac , this post will probably be an ongoing project .
If you have any questions please feel free to ask
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Fur babies
Gabe my 11 year old black lab
Toby my 4 year old male cat
Tasha my 5 year old female cat
Now you know where my user name ( Gabetoby) comes from
Exercise log for Feb.
Starting fresh with my blog on 2/15/2012
2/15 walk 1 mile
2/16 walk 2 miles
2/17 walk 2 miles
2/18 walk 2 miles
2/19 walk 2 miles
2/20 walk 1 mile out side ..19*f outside
2/21 0 :(
2/22 2 mile walk
2/23 2 mile walk
2/24 2 mile walk
2/25 0
2/26 2 mile walk
2/27 2 mile walk
2/28 0 sick
2/29 1 mile
2/15 walk 1 mile
2/16 walk 2 miles
2/17 walk 2 miles
2/18 walk 2 miles
2/19 walk 2 miles
2/20 walk 1 mile out side ..19*f outside
2/21 0 :(
2/22 2 mile walk
2/23 2 mile walk
2/24 2 mile walk
2/25 0
2/26 2 mile walk
2/27 2 mile walk
2/28 0 sick
2/29 1 mile
Weigh in
My top weight was 256
I started tracking my weight again on
Dec 28 2011
12/28/11= 232.8 START WEIGHT
1/4/12= 227.2 -5.6
1/11/12= 225.8 -1.4
1/17/12= 221.4 -4.4
1/25/12= 218.4 - 3.0
2/1/12= 218.4 -0.0
2/8/12= 218.4 -0.0
2/15/12= 217.6 -0.8
2/22/12= 216.4 -1.4
2/29/12= 215.6 -0.8
3/7/12= 214.6 - 1
3/14/12= 211.6 -3
3/21/12= 209.6 -2
3/28/12= 207.0 -2.6
I had to really look for pictures of me
I am about 230 in this one
My (dream ) goal weight is 149
but I will be SUPER DUPER happy with 159
This picture is of me and some of my brothers and sisters taken about 10 years ago.
I am on the far right .I am about 165 in this picture .
I started tracking my weight again on
Dec 28 2011
12/28/11= 232.8 START WEIGHT
1/4/12= 227.2 -5.6
1/11/12= 225.8 -1.4
1/17/12= 221.4 -4.4
1/25/12= 218.4 - 3.0
2/1/12= 218.4 -0.0
2/8/12= 218.4 -0.0
2/15/12= 217.6 -0.8
2/22/12= 216.4 -1.4
2/29/12= 215.6 -0.8
3/7/12= 214.6 - 1
3/14/12= 211.6 -3
3/21/12= 209.6 -2
3/28/12= 207.0 -2.6
I had to really look for pictures of me
I am about 230 in this one
My (dream ) goal weight is 149
but I will be SUPER DUPER happy with 159
This picture is of me and some of my brothers and sisters taken about 10 years ago.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
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